Touch Grass But It All Lives Outside T-Shirt | Chronically Online Humor | Gamer Introvert Gift

The internet keeps telling you to touch grass. The grass keeps insisting on being outside. This is a design flaw we simply cannot overlook.

For chronically online hermits who understand the fatal flaw in that advice. Now in wearable form for those rare outdoor appearances.

Who This Is For: Terminally online individuals facing unreasonable outdoor expectations, people wearing this ironically while being forced outside, gamers who consider "outside" a poorly designed level, anyone doing mandatory grocery runs (the only acceptable outdoor activity), people whose screen time reports are genuinely concerning, and "touch grass" suggestion receivers making a statement.

Design Details: Retro bubble lettering reading "TOUCH GRASS?" with illustrated grass patches, followed by "but it all lives outside..." in script beneath. The grass illustration is cute and cartoony, the message is pointed and accurate. The design perfectly captures the logical fallacy of the advice everyone keeps giving. Visible enough to make your point, relatable enough that other indoor enthusiasts will nod in solidarity.

Quality & Comfort:

• Premium 100% ring-spun cotton (153 g/m² lightweight fabric)
• Ultra-soft feel - softer than the grass you're not touching
• Tubular knit with no side seams (comfortable indoor uniform)
• Ribbed collar that keeps its shape (unlike your motivation to go outside)
• Pearlized tear-away label because outdoor activities are sensory overload enough
• Lightweight fabric for maximum indoor comfort
• Runs true to size

Printing & Durability: High-quality DTG printing ensures vibrant retro lettering and crisp grass illustration details. Oeko-Tex certified and ethically made. Built to last through minimal outdoor exposure.

Sizing Guide: Unisex sizing available in XS-3XL. All sizes same price for all body types of indoor enthusiasts. Check our size chart for exact measurements.

Care Instructions:

• Machine wash cold with similar colors (other indoor lifestyle garments)
• Tumble dry on low heat
• Do not bleach - we're chronically online, not chaotic
• Iron on low heat (avoid direct contact with print)
• Do not dry clean

Perfect Gift For: Chronically online friends who need validation, gamers with minimal outdoor time, people who receive "touch grass" comments regularly, homebodies facing social pressure to "get outside more," indoor cats in human form, anyone whose idea of nature is houseplants, or yourself because at least you're self-aware about it.

The Reality: For when well-meaning people suggest "touching grass" but refuse to acknowledge the fundamental problem with grass's location. Wear this on the rare occasions you venture outside to prove you understand the assignment (you're just choosing to ignore it). The system is flawed and you're willing to say it.

About Cult Studios: Part of the Digital Culture collection - designs for the terminally online, the indoor enthusiasts, and everyone who's heard "touch grass" one too many times. We validate your lifestyle choices.