The internet keeps telling you to touch grass. The grass keeps insisting on being outside. This is a design flaw we simply cannot overlook.
For chronically online hermits who understand the fatal flaw in that advice.
Who This Is For: Terminally online individuals facing unreasonable outdoor expectations, homebodies who've made peace with their choices, gamers who consider "outside" a poorly designed level, remote workers whose commute is 10 feet (and that's already too far), people whose screen time reports are genuinely concerning, and "touch grass" suggestion receivers (we've heard it, we're ignoring it).
Design Details: Retro bubble lettering reading "TOUCH GRASS?" with illustrated grass patches, followed by "but it all lives outside..." in script beneath. White ceramic body with colored interior and handle (black or your choice of color). The two-tone design elevates it from basic mug to aesthetic statement piece while the message keeps it real about your indoor lifestyle.
Quality & Features:
- Available in 11oz or 15oz sizes
- White ceramic with colored interior and handle (black or color options)
- Glossy finish with vibrant retro lettering and grass illustration
- Two-tone design that's actually aesthetically pleasing
- Microwave safe for reheating beverages you forgot about while scrolling
- Dishwasher safe because going outside AND doing dishes? Pick a struggle
- Lead-free and BPA-free (we're indoorsy, not careless)
- Comfortable C-handle for extended scrolling sessions
- Print won't fade even with heavy indoor use
Perfect For Your Indoor Lifestyle: For when well-meaning people suggest "touching grass" but refuse to acknowledge the fundamental problem with grass's location. This mug says what we're all thinking: the system is flawed. The logical fallacy of outdoor-based wellness advice, addressed.
Care Instructions:
- Dishwasher safe or hand wash with warm water
- Microwave safe
- Unlike grass, this mug doesn't require you to go outside to use it
Perfect Gift For: Chronically online friends, gamers with minimal outdoor time, people who receive "touch grass" comments regularly, homebodies facing social pressure to "get outside more," indoor cats in human form, remote workers who never leave their setup, Discord moderators, Reddit power users, or yourself because at least you're honest about it.
The Reality: This mug acknowledges what everyone else refuses to say: grass being outside is a fundamental design flaw in the advice. You understand the assignment. You're just choosing to respectfully decline. The two-tone design means you can be aesthetically pleasing while being logically correct.
About Cult Studios: Part of the Digital Culture collection - designs for the terminally online, the indoor enthusiasts, and everyone who's heard "touch grass" one too many times. We validate your lifestyle choices.
