Your anxiety is data-driven, personalized, and optimized for maximum engagement. The algorithm knows exactly what keeps you up at night and serves it to you in an endless scroll of existential dread.
Perfect for morning dissociation rituals where your coffee loads faster than your consciousness.
Who This Is For: Anyone whose brain buffer is permanently loading, people whose FYP is 90% crisis content, overthinkers who let the algorithm pick their spiral topics, anyone targeted by ads for therapy apps (the algorithm sees you), desk jobs where you're floating through meetings, and the "one more scroll" crowd making it a lifestyle.
Design Details: Clean minimalist typography with "ALGORITHMICALLY" in all caps paired with "anxious" in flowing script. Subtle binary code swirl pattern in the background reinforces the digital theme. White ceramic with black interior and handle creates a sleek tech aesthetic. The design is smart, understated, and devastatingly accurate for anyone whose anxiety is app-specific.
Quality & Features:
- 11oz and 15oz capacity - standard mug size OR larger to hold extra fuel for algorithm-induced all-nighters
- White ceramic with black interior and handle (sleek tech aesthetic)
- Glossy finish preserves vibrant print
- Microwave safe for reheating coffee you forgot about while scrolling
- Dishwasher safe for easy cleanup
- Lead-free and BPA-free (we're anxious, not reckless)
- Comfortable C-handle for extended doom scrolling sessions
- High-quality printing with crisp text and subtle binary details
Perfect For Morning Routines: For when your anxiety isn't random - it's been carefully calculated by an AI trained on your browsing history. The binary swirl is a visual representation of your data being processed into personalized panic. Start your day acknowledging that your mental health is sponsored by targeted content.
Care Instructions:
- Dishwasher safe or hand wash with warm water
- Microwave safe
- Do not iron directly over printed area
Perfect Gift For: Doom scrollers who need validation, chronically online friends, people with digital anxiety, social media addicts with self-awareness, overthinkers whose anxiety is algorithm-curated, anyone who's gotten therapy app ads that felt too targeted, or yourself because at least the mug doesn't learn your patterns.
About Cult Studios: Part of the Digital Culture collection - designs for the extremely online, the algorithmically anxious, and everyone who understands that the algorithm is definitely the problem.
